My Top EIGHT Pet Peeves about India

Now that it is almost 9 months since I returned to India, I thought it would be a good idea to pen down some of the idiosyncracies that I have seen in India. Some of these seemed perfectly normal to me when I left for US. Now they are irritating, annoying to me. I guess u do end up with a different persective after living abroad for such a long time.

Here is a list of my pet peeves; in no particular order:

1) It is not a paper napkin, silly. It is a tissue. Well, atleast that is what all the waiters call it. If you are going to say paper napkin, be prepared to say it 4 times (before eventually accepting defeat and saying tissue). Also if u request for "can I have some tissue?", u will get only ONE. So if u need Three, be explicit and say THREE.

2) "Sleeves" for coffee cups is an alien concept. They just don't exist ! So after u have ordered a piping hot cafe latte (costing Rs50) at the nearest CCD outlet; all u can do to prevent ur hands from burning is to wrap a paper napkin (oops tissue !) around the coffee cup.

 3) Garbage Cans in public places or rather, the lack of it. People hold coke cans, tissues, empty packet of chips etc for a long long time in the hope of finding a garbage can. Eventually they just give up and throw the garbage on the road. I have personally experienced this on a couple of occasions. I seriously think this is something that can easily be addressed by the government. It is cheap, effective and easy to implement. Is anybody listening ?

4) Nose picking in public -- It is like a national pastime. Everybody does it. Everywhere. And nobody is bothered by it. I don't know what else to say for this.

5) If u speak softly, it does not mean that u are trying to be polite. It means that u are weak and lack confidence. So if u are trying to make a point or convey the urgency of ur request; SPEAK LOUDLY. Else you will be ignored.

6) The STARE; the great Indian Stare. It lasts for more than a few seconds; as if Jolie and Aniston are walking together -- naked. One ends up feeling very uncomfortable; and yet people do it shamelessly. Only way to end their stare is by responding with a straight look into their eyes. Eventually they blink.

7) The NOD; the great Indian Nod. People say yes for everything. Even when they don't know what the request is. Infact even when they do not understand ur language. Saying No is just not a part of the Indian psyche.

8) When an elevator opens; folks try getting IN while others are still trying to come OUT. No, we can't wait. The country does not have enough resources for all and everybody has been brought up on the famed Darwinism "Survival of the Fittest".

Have u heard the BSNL ringback tone lately ?

So today morning I wanted to check who is going to be the teacher for my son's nursery class. I called up the school and heard a fresh, refreshing voice. No, it wasn't the receptionist. It was actually BSNL's latest ringback tone. It went something like this: "When u have to say, something to someone far away; BSNL paves the way..........say it the BSNL way". I was surprised; it was actually pleasing to the ears. Far far better than those expressionless jaded "Aap katar mein hain.........prateeksha kijiye" lines.

As I heard that, my mind wandered 20+ years back. And I remembered how excited I was to see a bunch of guys hooking up the telephone connection at our place. I could see that the neighbours were jealous. After all, in the entire apartment block housing 16 apts, we were the only folks who now had a phone. The phone connection had now put us among the "privileged class". Next day, I walked into the school with a sense of pride and announced our phone number to anybody who cared to listen.

Such were the days of "License Raj". A mere landline required a wait of several years; simply because there was a fixed quota that was supposed to be allocated every year. The 1991 economic crisis changed all that (a great example of how a crisis can become an opportunity; though it is unfortunate that India needed a crisis to move to a capitalist economy). Liberalisation happened. India opened its doors; first hesitantly and then confidently. And since then some things have changed for ever. On the communications front there really has been a revolution. Both Landlines and cellphones are available in a day or two and have become so cheap that literally everybody has it. The advent of private players in the telecom industry has forced BSNL to change. People still complain about their customer service; but they have surely come a long long way.

As I hung up the phone, I chuckled and offered a big thanks to Dr. Manmohan Singh (the then FM) and Narasimha Rao (though he was the then PM of India; people conveniently forget him) for making this happen.

Post #1: It HAPPENS only in India !

This incident dates back to Jan 2011 -- about 5 months back.


My three year old son (Shubh) had become sick in the evening. As we went to bed, we checked his temperature. The mercury meter said 100; we thought we can hold on before giving him some Calpol. Three hours later, my wife was shaking me. Startled, I woke up and saw her pointing to the thermometer reading. It said 104. I immediately rang up the Cradle Clinic, the place in Bangalore which we used to frequent for all issues related to kids health. The attending doctor recommended a particular medicine and also advised us to start doing cold water sponging. He strongly believed that doing these two things will bring down the temperature and then in the morning, we can come for a check-up.

As I started my "Activa" (a popular two wheeler in India) in pursuit of a 24 hour Pharmacy shop, it was about 2 in the morning. I had been in Bangalore for barely 4 months and did not have a good handle of the area surrounding my place. But I still believed that I will be able to get my way around. After roaming around unsuccessfully for half an hour, I realized how wrong I was. Twiddling my thumbs, I was standing near a medical college trying to figure out what to do next. Just then I saw a few auto-rickshaws near the gate of the medical college. I went upto one of them and enquired about the pharmacy shop. He said that it is nearby and gave me directions. But with me being unfamiliar to B'lore, I was completely confused. The rickshaw driver realized this. And offered to be my pillion rider and show me the way. For a minute, I hesitated. For one, it was barely 4 months since I had relocated to India after spending 11 yrs in US; a place where something like this was completely unheard of. Secondly, I had come across a few cases of B'lore taxi drivers robbing and even murdering folks who were travelling late in the night. I was a little anxious. But soon I remembered my son's face and accepted his offer.

With the auto driver as my pillion, we reached the medical shop in 5 mins. I asked for the relevant medicine and as I was paying the bill, the auto driver came upto me and suggested a different medicine (something he used all the time for his children). I was really touched by the guy's selfless approach. He seemed so genuine. I wanted to keep his heart. And so,though I obviously had more faith in the doctor than him, I still went ahead and bought this other medicine as well. Rejecting his idea would have seemed mean and rude; and I did not want to do that.

After dropping him back to the medical college (where his auto rickshaw was); I shook his hand, offered a few words of genuine gratitude and drove away.

As I neared home, I wondered what would I have done without him. What would the world do without such folks ? Thank God for them; for it is people like these who make me believe that humanity is alive and kicking !

The incident also highlighted how different the US and Indian societies are. US society prides itself in being fiercely independent. Had I been in US; I would have fired up my laptop, searched for 24hr Walgreens, called and placed an order for the medicine and then driven there to fetch the medicines. In India, this approach just does not work. It is a more "people-based" society (for lack of a better word). Whether u like it or not; everybody is dependent on everybody. And though that dependence leads to all kinds of issues, it also provides (at times) joy and genuine warmth !