Book Review: The Dollar Bahu by Sudha Murthy

 A month back I was going out of town for a short business trip. I figured that it will be good to have a couple of books with me to kill time on those treacherous long flights and in those boring, conventional hotel rooms (why do all of them have yellow lights ? and why exactly the same layout ?) With these thoughts in mind, I entered a book stall near the Forum mall in Koramangala area. I happened to lay my hands on a book by Sudha Murthy called "The Dollar Bahu". The title of the book and the short summary provided at the back was tantalising but more than that, it was the author that really got my attention. I had heard and read a lot about Sudha Murthy. For the uninitiated, Sudha Murthy is the wife of Narayana Murthy, founder CEO of Infosys and a truly visionary tech leader. Sudha does a lot of social work through the Infosys foundation and has several short stories to her credit. More importantly though, the life stories of Sudha and Narayana Murthy have become the stuff of legend and has been a huge source of inspiration for the Indian middle class.

The book itself is short; of 150 odd pages, which meant that the book was done in a couple of short seatings. But what a disappointment. The book deals with an Indian family whose elder son has gone to US seeking greener pastures whereas the younger son has taken up a job at home since his education background does not match with the opportunities available in US. Trouble erupts when the wife of younger son is constantly compared with the elder bahu, who has earned the tag "Dollar Bahu" for the green bucks that her husband earns. Constantly derided, the younger bahu feels isolated, lonely and depressed. But things take a turn when the mother-in-law visits US with heavenly expectations; only to find that US is not quite what she had expected and all said and done, India is where she belongs.

This ofcourse is something that the NRIs can instantly relate to; and this is why I found the book tantalising when I first saw it. But the problem is that the book is full of cliches. The various incidents that it describes are all too familiar, too typical. And the author merely scratches the surface for such issues; without bothering to delve deep for any of the various issues that have been highlighted in the book. Surely, I expected more from such an acclaimed author who is known to be of high intellect. She had a great opportunity to go beyond the cliche; to do a more objective comparison between Indian and US lifestyle but she squanders it. The whole India/US debate has so many layers; and a discussion on this can literally go on for hours together. Infact I have observed that such discussions become very heated and people get very touchy about their views. As an individual who has relocated to India after 11 years in US, this is something that I can definitely vouch for. The only thing with which the author can be credited is that she does not take any side; does not pronounce a verdict. She presents both the lifestyle to readers and leaves it at that. A comment made by one of the protagonist near the end of the book sums it up "It is pointless to try and have an Indian lifestyle in US and viceversa. It is a futile attempt and just does not work. Everything in life comes as a package; with its share of bouquets and brickbats. The key to remaining happy is to embrace whichever country u are living in." 

I still have high regard for the author, though. This was probably just a blip from her side. I look forward to picking up another of her books and have a better reading experience. But this time (as a good friend of mine pointed out), I will make sure that I check out the book reviews before stepping into the book stall.

How India has changed in the last Decade

I had made quite a few trips to India during the decade that I was in US. During these trips, I always used to get a sense that things were changing in India. But since the trips were short and since it was a "visit", it was difficult to grasp some of these changes. Now that we are "living" in India, I feel I have a better handle at how the things have changed.

Below are some of the changes that I have experienced and observed over the last few months.

1) Since everybody now has cellphones, everybody is connected. And so there is no excuse for not informing. It just doesn't work anymore. Delivery folks, maids, drivers all call up and inform that they will not be coming. Sure, they still have the same random excuses; but atleast they call and tell us. This is of huge help since it allows people to plan.

2) The labour class of the society has realized that education matters; that only education can lift them out of the lower strata of the society. As a result, they make sure that their children go to school. They even take active interest in their studies. The other day, I overheard our maid telling my wife that she will be late on Sunday since she needs to attend PTA. I felt so guilty I promised my wife I will attend our son's next PTA.

3) The youth of the society is far more aware of environment and much more inclined to do social work. Most companies of repute have a group of young engineers who are leading the company's efforts on global warming, banning use of plastics, providing aid to organizations doing social work etc. And no, they don't do this just to be COOL. I have personally interacted with such folks. They are genuine and truly care.

4) I did most of my schooling in an English medium school in A'bad. I still remember the late 80s and early 90s when English medium students were considered to be snobbish. Speaking English was seen as haughty and arrogant. I am sure several folks of my generation felt something similar. Well, times have changed. Parents now PREFER to put their kids in English medium schools. From what I have heard, even the famed C N Vidyalay of A'bad was planning to start a separate English medium stream. People have realized that in a globalized world, English matters and English helps. Mother tongue is all fine and u certainly need to have a handle on it. But let's be honest; you cannot talk in Gujju or Marathi with folks sitting 3000 miles away, in a different part of the world.

5) Media is the new government. It is they who do the job of awakening the nation on a particular issue. Once they pick up something, they are hard to beat. Ask Manu Sharma (Jessica Lall murder case), Vikas Yadav (Nitish Katara murder case) or Sajal Jain (Bijal Joshi rape/suicide case). Though there are allegations of media houses being partial (NDTV supports Congress, TIMES NOW is anti Congress), I think that is fine. We all know which party FOX supports in US. Overall the media is doing a good job and needs to be applauded.

6) Cars, Cars everywhere. Surely, that's what the view is if u were to ever take a helicopter ride over any of the major cities in India. Higher disposable income and easily available loans have led to this. Everybody loves to complain that the infrastructure in India hasn't caught up with this. But let's pause for a minute. Did anybody saw this coming ? The chairman of DLF (India's biggest real estate developer), KP Singh,  has a very famous quote "15 years back, u could drive blindfolded in Delhi at 3 in the afternoon. Now, u cannot do that even at 3 in the night". There u have it; both the scale and the suddenness of the problem.

7) The teenagers (i.e. students from 9th grade onwards) are far more exposed and have a much better understanding of the world around them. In general, they seem well rounded. Also, thanks to globalisation, they are no longer in awe of US. Sure, they still want to go to US, but for all the right reasons: better courses, more opportunities and better lifestyle. Not something as lame as dolllar/rupee conversion rate.

8) Coffee shops -- "Hi, are u in the city too ? Great, let's meet up. Where? Either the Barista on 80 feet road or  the CCD at Outer ring road or maybe the newly opened Mocha". Coffee shops are truly omnipresent. They are the favored joints for everything: whether it is a date, catching up with an old friend, hanging out with college gang or striking a business deal. Starbucks is one thing India has imitated very well. From treating Espresso as coffee with foam to recognizing that it actually means strong black coffee; India has come a long way.

9) Aamir Khan -- The Guy's profile has changed so much in the last decade, that most people do not even remember the crap load of movies that he did in the 90s  (does anybody even faintly remember "Tum Mere Ho", "Daulat Ki Jung" or "Aatank Hi Aatank" ?). Yes he was a good actor and had been a part of a few blockbusters; but still at the end of day he was just another bollywood star. Things have changed significantly. He now has this aura of uniqueness around him. Since 2000, each of his movies has been path breaking in one way or the other. Starting with Dil Chahta Hai, followed by Lagaan, Rang De Basanti, Taare Zameen Par and Three Idiots. Besides, he is the only bollywood celebrity to have had the courage to lend support to causes like Narmada Bachao Andolan and Anti corruption protests. Recently, he was awarded a huge honour when the PM of India invited him for a dinner party welcoming the US president (no other bollywood personality was part of this; no Amitabh, no Shahrukh). There is so much conviction in what he does and what he speaks; both in reel and real life. A breath of fresh air.

10) Multiplexes and Bollywood--- In 1999, multiplexes were just starting to emerge. Every major city had a couple of multiplexes at that point. Now, it is difficult to imagine going to a place other than multiplex for a movie. And the advent of multiplexes has been a game changer. Could anybody have imagined movies like "Peepli live", "A Wednesday", "Aamir", " Jhankaar Beats" or "Iqbal" a decade back ? No way ! Who would have produced them ? and who would have watched them ? But now Bollywood has learned to balance the low budget off beat movies with multi crore potboilers. Essentially, there is no separate art cinema. The hat-ke movies are now watched by millions instead of being screened just at film festivals. And that is HUGE.

11) Credit cards -- A decade back, only a privileged few had credit cards. And there were only a handful of high end places in the city which accepted credit cards. Then, as consumerism boomed in India; having a credit card became easy. And that led to more and more places accepting credit cards. Now, every other guy has it and every other place accepts it. A decade back, people used to view credit cards as a debt trap; a kind of an evil emanating from the West. Now people understand both the convenience and pitfalls of a credit card; and are comfortable with it.