Short Story#1: The Immigrant Curse

It was the winter of 1977. The Air India flight had landed at O'Hare an hour back. Mr Brahmbhatt was standing at the ARRIVAL Terminal with a dazed look. The gold plated watch on his left hand, the printed shirt and the shining black leather shoes seemed completely out of place. As he walked out of the main gate, the cold winter breeze hit him on his face. It was December after all. Mr Brahmbhatt stood there for a few mins, wondering how to ask for help. The lack of self-confidence in English prevented him from going any forward. In less than 10 mins, he decided to retreat back. The famed Chicago wind chill had taken its toll. His ears and hands had gone numb. The ash-grey colored Raymonds sweater, gifted by his in-laws on his last birthday, was woefully inadequate. Once inside the airport, Mr Brahmbhatt opened up his VIP suitcase and frittered through a bunch of documents. There it was ! The piece of paper with Mr Nayak's phone number, the individual who was his neighbour's friend and had agreed to pick him up.

Sitting inside Mr Nayak's car, he felt a sense of elation and achievement. As the car took the fork to 285 North, he saw himself surrounded by a maze of freeways. Finally the feeling that he had arrived in US of A  sunk in. Nayak took him to the Schaumburg suburb of Chicago, and the car finally screeched to a halt at a Shell Gas station. Oh, we ran out of Petrol said Brahmbhatt loudly. Nayak snubbed "It is Gas, and not petrol.". Besides, this was the convenience store that Nayak owned. And so it dawned on Brahmbhatt that this was the business that his neighbours and Nayak's family used to hype about. The small dingy store where barely three people could stand at the same time was a symbol of huge accomplishment back home. And, as Brahmbhatt was to realize soon, this was also the place where he would take his first tentative steps into the melting pot.

The next few months were a haze; spent in setting about life in this new country. Several times during this period, Brahmbhatt would toss and turn on his bed, unable to get any sleep or peace of mind. Staring at the ceiling, he would wonder how much his life had changed in the last few months. From a bank officer to a clerk at a convenience store, from being called "sir" to asking "How can I help you ?", from searing heat to biting cold, from surroundings that seemed noisy even at 10 in the night to a place that seemed frustratingly peaceful even at 10 in the morning, from finding relatives to be pestering to actually missing them, from a laid back morning with chai and newspaper to a hectic morning with coffee on the go and news on the radio, from bright full of life evenings to dark dull depressing evenings, from having a four course lunch to a mid day meal of sandwich and chips, from celebrating Diwali to looking forward to Christmas, from an idle sunday of afternoon siesta and papdi chat to a sunday of household chores and salad. So much had changed. Infact his present and his past were so different that it was difficult to imagine that they were of the same individual. All for his kids. All for giving them a better, more secure future.

It was the summer of 2008. A young presidential hopeful had taken US and the world by storm. While the "Yes We Can" presidential campaign played out on TV; Brahmbhatt gazed out from the patio of his condo, a three bedroom apartment in Twilight -- an assisted living community for senior citizens. It was his decision to move to this place. After Usha lost her battle to breast cancer last year, this seemed to be the most practical choice. No, infact the kids were more than keen to have him with them. It was he who resisted. It was he who felt uncomfortable at that thought. Partly because he wanted to remain independent and partly because it was difficult for him to relate to their lives. His elder son Mandeep, who now called himself Mandy, was barely 36; but his monthly expenses already included alimony support. His daughter Ambika, who now called herself Amber, had entered her 30s as well but marriage seemed a distant and more worryingly an unlikely proposition. She seemed determined to continue with a live-in relationship, a marriage seemed like a trap to her.

Strangely enough, Brahmbhatt felt disconnected from his own blood. Generation gap exists everywhere but this seemed much different and bigger than that. He could not help but wonder if things would have been any different had he been in India. It was that classic dilemma which immigrants tend to have from time to time. Would the conservative Indian society be better for his children ? Would Mandy have worked more on his marriage; instead of throwing in the towel after merely 15 months ? Would Amber be more accomodating to the thought of marriage ? Possibly. Probably. But then, he shouldn't forget that it was the US society which had given Amber a new life after she had fallen prey to drugs during her sophomore year. Instead of shunning her, the US society had given her a helping hand with the belief that "Everybody deserves a second chance". The John Hopkins rehabilitation center had brought an individual lost in her life back on the right track. Mandy too was a product that got blossomed in a US society which encouraged to "Do whatever you are interested in". Nobody in India would have supported his interest in wildlife photography, a hobby that became his passion and got him a job with the National Geographic magazine. In a nation of 1.2 billion people and scarce resources, it would have been difficult to take a different offbeat path. But US, apart from being resource rich, had another important quality: an open mind.

As Brahmbhatt sat on the recliner, his mind continued to wander. Maybe he should have never come to US. Maybe he should have. Maybe he should have relocated to India after a few years in US. Maybe he shouldn't have. Shakespeare's Hamlet probably had it easier than this. In general, it is good to have options but this is one case when the options lead to a lot of heartburn. Let's just call it a curse; The Immigrant Curse.

PS: I absolutely need to acknowledge Jhumpa Lahiri for this post, an author for whom I have high regard and whose works I love and adore.

TEN Bollywood Movies I LOVE -- AND WHY

Ok.....so I am a huge bollywood fan. It is something that has grown over the years. When I was a kid I hardly watched movies since my parents never had any interest in films. But as I entered the secondary school and started getting my wings of independence, my love affair with bollywood began. And it has only grown stronger since then. Lot of people ridicule bollywood as masala films without any substance. But I love the melodrama, the grand sets, the colors, the song-and-dance sequences, the signature dialogs, the scarcely believable plot. It provides an escape that nothing else can come even close to.

A post on Bollywood, therefore, was always round the corner. Below, in a chronological order, is a list of Ten Bollywood movies I love:

• GUIDE (1965)  -- Vijay Anand's Guide is based of R.K. Narayan's novel (of the same name). The movie depicts flawed characters, which is quite a rarity in Bollywood. It is a film with several layers, something that I have rarely seen in movies of that era. Dev Anand, in probably his most famous role, performs as "Raju Guide"; a charcter that has his fair share of failings -- ambition, insecurity and jealousy. Waheeda plays "Rosie" and is shown to be bold in defying societal norms by leaving her husband and moving into Raju's abode. The film, however, does not end at the happily ever after. Instead it goes beyond that, one of the reasons why I find the movie special. Vijay Anand handles the complex subject with great maturity and flair and SD Burman's music is simply outstanding.

• ANAND (1971) -- A masterpiece by Hrishikesh Mukherjee; aided by Rajesh Khanna's career best performance. Rajesh Khanna's personification of a lively, death defying cancer stricken patient was stupendous. The way he takes the audience with him is amazing. In the beginning it is his vivacity and his happy-go-lucky ways that demand ur attention but slowly he takes over ur heart and in the end, you don't want him to die inspite of being aware all the time that his death is inevitable. And ofcourse, who can forget the epic last scene ? The part where a tape with Rajesh Khanna's voice starts playing; the eerie laughter at the end leaves a haunting effect and as the EXIT light turns on; the audience has a lump in the throat and a tear on the cheek.

•  SHOLAY (1975)-- The perfect potboiler, if there ever was. It has the right amount of all the key ingredients: action, comedy, drama and romance. The script writer [Salim-Javed] and the director [Ramesh Sippy] deserve a lot of credit for etching out the various characters so nicely such that people remember them even today. The fact that it was a multistarrer made this task even more difficult; and yet how admirably have they done that. When RGV started working on his Sholay remake [which ended up being a dud, by the way]; Hema Malini had made a telling comment "Aap Sholay baar baar dekh sakte hain, bana nahi sakte". That says it all, doesn't it ?

• DEEWAR (1975) -- The plot was not special. After all what can be special about a story of two brothers; one a cop and the other a thief. We all know where that is headed. The Salim-Javed duo came up with a tight screenplay and stellar dialogs. But even then, this could easily have been an over-the-top emotional melodrama. Amitabh ensured that it became a once-in-a-lifetime movie. The swagger, The unassuming demeanor, The anger, The intense look.........Awesome would be an understatement. The movie firmly established Amitabh as an Angry Young Man. If u ever wonder what the fuss regarding AB is all about, do yourself a favor. Go rent Deewar !

•  ARTH (1982) -- A movie on infidelity in marriage and insecurity in relationships. Both the leading ladies (Shabana and Smita) deliver powerhouse performances. Jagjit and Chitra Singh's music is melodious and meaningful [Sample this: "Tum itna jo muskura rahe ho, kya gum hai jo tum chupa rahe ho", How True !]. The movie has a very unconventional ending. Not only does Shabana refuse to accept her husband back; she also declines the overtures from the new man in her life (Raj Kiran). Instead, she decides to remain single and independent. That's quite a departure from the norm and it needed guts to fashion such an end (given the time the movie was released). And oh, by the way, the opening lovemaking scene between Smita and Kulbhushan Kharbanda is truly erotic.

• JAANE BHI DO YAARO (1983) -- It is hard to find a better satire than this in Indian cinema. The film depicts the rampant corruption in Indian bureaucracy, news media and politics and the unholy nexus that exists between them. Doing social commentary through comedy is no joke; but JBDY does that with amazing ease. It is only after the movie ends that u realize that it was a black comedy; a film cynical about the corruption in India. Until then u keep laughing and smiling on all the gags. Lot of people hold this movie in great reverence, a collectors edition of sorts [try opening up a conversation on this movie anywhere; and u will see what I mean.....]. A real gem from Kundan Shah.

•  LAMHE (1991) -- A movie that was just way ahead of its time. LAMHE broke ground for suggesting a relationship between a woman and a much older man. It is only Yash Chopra who could have handled such a delicate subject with such class and elan. Sridevi stars in a double role and does complete justice to both the characters. It is Anil Kapoor, though, who really delivers. His performance is so subtle; especially as the older, withdrawn "Viren" [It is a tragedy that Bollywood wasted all his talent in potboilers like "Tezaab" and "Ram Lakhan"]. The subject was taboo for the Indian audience (of that time), resulting in poor box office returns. But the film did get a lot of critical acclaim and is hailed as a cult classic.

• DDLJ (1995) -- The movie that made Shahrukh synonymous with charming. He is super sweet in the film and captures the hearts and minds of everybody. Before DDLJ he was a rising star with some blockbusters to his credit; DDLJ made him a superstar. Just as the name "Vijay" is associated with Amitabh, post-DDLJ Raj and Simran became inseparable with Shahrukh and Kajol. One other aspect that gets overlooked is the fact that the movie was also the first of its kind in merging the NRI life and the life in India. It did that splendidly. In the process, NRIs fell in love with the movie and the Bollywood industry opened its eyes to the huge overseas market which had remain untapped until then.

• DIL CHAHTA HAI (2001) - A "coming of age" movie which portrayed the life of Indian upper-class youth through the story of three close friends and their experiences. A film which the entire young generation identified with. Aamir's goatee became a huge rage, Saif's career got a new lease of life and all "Siddharths" are being called "Sid" ever since. A cult movie. And all this from a director making his debut. WOW !

• SWADES (2004)-- Movies which deal with subject of returning back to the motherland tend to go over the top. This one is special -- bcoz it does not. Ashutosh Gowariker presented Shahrukh in a different light altogether: No designer brand at any point, No GAP pullovers, No RAYBAN Sunglasses; just a check shirt and denim jeans. It has to be one of most understated performances from Shahrukh; and Ashutosh deserves a huge Kudos for that.

• Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi (2005) --  A movie on politics, love and ambition. Set in the backdrop of Emergency and the Naxalite uprising in Bihar, the film boasts of super direction (from Sudhir Mishra) and equally wonderful performances from the three leads. It is a pity that the novel theme led to poor box office returns. Kay Kay is intense and Chitrangda Singh resembles Smita Patil (especially in a saree), oozing sensuousness in every shot. Shiney Ahuja is best of the lot though, his brilliant portrayal of the ambitious "Vikram" is truly an award worthy performance [In that moment of madness with the maid, the industry has lost an extremely good artist]. And yes, the last scene of the movie is so poignant; it is bound to make ur eyes moist.

• Lage Raho Munna Bhai (2006) -- When was the last time you saw a sequel that was better than original ? Probably Never. Well Lage Raho Munnabhai does that and even manages to pass on a message to the society. Not in a boring documentary way; but in a good humoured funny way. Now, that is something. Thank you Raju Hirani, for making us realize how special MK Gandhi was and how he is relevant even today.

This post has turned out to be much longer than what I thought it would be. I guess Bollywood does that to me :)

The Morning Newspaper

"THUD !" came the sound. And instinctively, all eyes went up to the balcony. The moment that all had been waiting for since dawn had duly arrived. The morning newspaper was here !

It is amazing how important a newspaper is to the life of an Indian (or at the very least, an Indian living in India). Amazing bcoz news are now available at our fingertips. There are 24 hour TV channels and broadband Internet. On many occasions, the morning newspaper is a little stale. Some of the news items have already got updated over the course of the night. In fact it is exactly the same news that were seen yesterday evening, that people wish to catch up on in the morning. And yet, there is little else that we look forward to in the morning. There is this strange connection between an Indian and print media, it seems to give a kick that nothing else can. Once the newspaper arrives, everything else takes a backseat. Atleast for a while. Everybody has their lips on the morning caffeine and their eyes on the paper. It is a ritual that is followed with utmost seriousness.

 I vividly remember how lost my father felt every morning on his first visit to US. He would prepare his cup of tea and then wonder what to do next. The idea of drinking it without the newspaper seemed impossible. Though he never complained, there was clearly an emptiness that was evident on his face. Soon enough, I realized this and a week later, got myself subscribed to New York Times. It was only then that normalcy resumed.

Now that I have moved to India, I have also got bitten by the newspaper bug. My hectic mornings make sure that I barely get 15-20 mins for myself and the paper. And I try to use them in the most effective way possible. A fleeting glance at all the pages, earmarking the interesting articles either for work or for evening. While I am on way to work, my jealous stares are reserved for the ones with chauffeurs. I see these folks catching up on the news while somebody else is on the wheel, and I tell to myself "What Bliss !".

I guess this is going to be one of those random posts where I get started but don't know how to end. But then isn't this what blogging is all about -- capturing the thoughts in a free flowing way without any specific structure or format. I smile and pat my back for figuring a way out, and move on. 

TEN Things I Believe IN

First, the acknowledgement. Last week, I ran into Preeti Shenoy's  10 Day YOU Challenge. And though I did not take the challenge (since I know I am too lousy to write a post everyday for 10 days), it did get me thinking about some things.

And so, thanks to Preeti's blog, this post of mine got created.

I BELIEVE THAT: 

•  Most relationship issues can be solved by talking. Sincerity, willingness to talk, an hour or two of interrupted time and a cup of coffee (with unlimited refills) -- is all that u need to solve the most vexing of problems.
• Snapping a relationship is actually the easiest thing to do. Making a relationship survive against all the odds is the real challenge. I understand that sometimes, snapping is all that can be done. But even then, it should be the last option; and not the first.
• The small "big" moments make life worthwhile. The little things in life are what life is all about. Life is tough anyway.
• A little ego is actually good for an individual. Life's experiences have taught me that if u are too good; people trample you. They walk all over you. Having ego shows that if nobody else, atleast you will stand up for yourself.
• No matter what they do; family is family. Friendships, unfortunately, do die and wither. Blood relationships are always there. They might be tied by a very loose, weak string; but they can never be completely broken. Never.
• There are very few things in life that are worth fighting about. Which is why I am always open to a compromise. You win some, you lose some. Besides, there are always bigger fishes to fry.
• Listening is probably the best way to make others feel valued and important. Note that you need to listen; and not just hear.
• Anger is a huge relationship killer. Get a hold on your temper; and half the world will be in love with you.
• Touch is a hugely under rated (and probably under used) expression of emotion. Far more comforting, intimate and meaningful than that hugely over rated three letter word.
• On most occasions and with most folks; Out of sight is Out of mind. Harsh and sad, but true. 

Book Review: The Dollar Bahu by Sudha Murthy

 A month back I was going out of town for a short business trip. I figured that it will be good to have a couple of books with me to kill time on those treacherous long flights and in those boring, conventional hotel rooms (why do all of them have yellow lights ? and why exactly the same layout ?) With these thoughts in mind, I entered a book stall near the Forum mall in Koramangala area. I happened to lay my hands on a book by Sudha Murthy called "The Dollar Bahu". The title of the book and the short summary provided at the back was tantalising but more than that, it was the author that really got my attention. I had heard and read a lot about Sudha Murthy. For the uninitiated, Sudha Murthy is the wife of Narayana Murthy, founder CEO of Infosys and a truly visionary tech leader. Sudha does a lot of social work through the Infosys foundation and has several short stories to her credit. More importantly though, the life stories of Sudha and Narayana Murthy have become the stuff of legend and has been a huge source of inspiration for the Indian middle class.

The book itself is short; of 150 odd pages, which meant that the book was done in a couple of short seatings. But what a disappointment. The book deals with an Indian family whose elder son has gone to US seeking greener pastures whereas the younger son has taken up a job at home since his education background does not match with the opportunities available in US. Trouble erupts when the wife of younger son is constantly compared with the elder bahu, who has earned the tag "Dollar Bahu" for the green bucks that her husband earns. Constantly derided, the younger bahu feels isolated, lonely and depressed. But things take a turn when the mother-in-law visits US with heavenly expectations; only to find that US is not quite what she had expected and all said and done, India is where she belongs.

This ofcourse is something that the NRIs can instantly relate to; and this is why I found the book tantalising when I first saw it. But the problem is that the book is full of cliches. The various incidents that it describes are all too familiar, too typical. And the author merely scratches the surface for such issues; without bothering to delve deep for any of the various issues that have been highlighted in the book. Surely, I expected more from such an acclaimed author who is known to be of high intellect. She had a great opportunity to go beyond the cliche; to do a more objective comparison between Indian and US lifestyle but she squanders it. The whole India/US debate has so many layers; and a discussion on this can literally go on for hours together. Infact I have observed that such discussions become very heated and people get very touchy about their views. As an individual who has relocated to India after 11 years in US, this is something that I can definitely vouch for. The only thing with which the author can be credited is that she does not take any side; does not pronounce a verdict. She presents both the lifestyle to readers and leaves it at that. A comment made by one of the protagonist near the end of the book sums it up "It is pointless to try and have an Indian lifestyle in US and viceversa. It is a futile attempt and just does not work. Everything in life comes as a package; with its share of bouquets and brickbats. The key to remaining happy is to embrace whichever country u are living in." 

I still have high regard for the author, though. This was probably just a blip from her side. I look forward to picking up another of her books and have a better reading experience. But this time (as a good friend of mine pointed out), I will make sure that I check out the book reviews before stepping into the book stall.

How India has changed in the last Decade

I had made quite a few trips to India during the decade that I was in US. During these trips, I always used to get a sense that things were changing in India. But since the trips were short and since it was a "visit", it was difficult to grasp some of these changes. Now that we are "living" in India, I feel I have a better handle at how the things have changed.

Below are some of the changes that I have experienced and observed over the last few months.

1) Since everybody now has cellphones, everybody is connected. And so there is no excuse for not informing. It just doesn't work anymore. Delivery folks, maids, drivers all call up and inform that they will not be coming. Sure, they still have the same random excuses; but atleast they call and tell us. This is of huge help since it allows people to plan.

2) The labour class of the society has realized that education matters; that only education can lift them out of the lower strata of the society. As a result, they make sure that their children go to school. They even take active interest in their studies. The other day, I overheard our maid telling my wife that she will be late on Sunday since she needs to attend PTA. I felt so guilty I promised my wife I will attend our son's next PTA.

3) The youth of the society is far more aware of environment and much more inclined to do social work. Most companies of repute have a group of young engineers who are leading the company's efforts on global warming, banning use of plastics, providing aid to organizations doing social work etc. And no, they don't do this just to be COOL. I have personally interacted with such folks. They are genuine and truly care.

4) I did most of my schooling in an English medium school in A'bad. I still remember the late 80s and early 90s when English medium students were considered to be snobbish. Speaking English was seen as haughty and arrogant. I am sure several folks of my generation felt something similar. Well, times have changed. Parents now PREFER to put their kids in English medium schools. From what I have heard, even the famed C N Vidyalay of A'bad was planning to start a separate English medium stream. People have realized that in a globalized world, English matters and English helps. Mother tongue is all fine and u certainly need to have a handle on it. But let's be honest; you cannot talk in Gujju or Marathi with folks sitting 3000 miles away, in a different part of the world.

5) Media is the new government. It is they who do the job of awakening the nation on a particular issue. Once they pick up something, they are hard to beat. Ask Manu Sharma (Jessica Lall murder case), Vikas Yadav (Nitish Katara murder case) or Sajal Jain (Bijal Joshi rape/suicide case). Though there are allegations of media houses being partial (NDTV supports Congress, TIMES NOW is anti Congress), I think that is fine. We all know which party FOX supports in US. Overall the media is doing a good job and needs to be applauded.

6) Cars, Cars everywhere. Surely, that's what the view is if u were to ever take a helicopter ride over any of the major cities in India. Higher disposable income and easily available loans have led to this. Everybody loves to complain that the infrastructure in India hasn't caught up with this. But let's pause for a minute. Did anybody saw this coming ? The chairman of DLF (India's biggest real estate developer), KP Singh,  has a very famous quote "15 years back, u could drive blindfolded in Delhi at 3 in the afternoon. Now, u cannot do that even at 3 in the night". There u have it; both the scale and the suddenness of the problem.

7) The teenagers (i.e. students from 9th grade onwards) are far more exposed and have a much better understanding of the world around them. In general, they seem well rounded. Also, thanks to globalisation, they are no longer in awe of US. Sure, they still want to go to US, but for all the right reasons: better courses, more opportunities and better lifestyle. Not something as lame as dolllar/rupee conversion rate.

8) Coffee shops -- "Hi, are u in the city too ? Great, let's meet up. Where? Either the Barista on 80 feet road or  the CCD at Outer ring road or maybe the newly opened Mocha". Coffee shops are truly omnipresent. They are the favored joints for everything: whether it is a date, catching up with an old friend, hanging out with college gang or striking a business deal. Starbucks is one thing India has imitated very well. From treating Espresso as coffee with foam to recognizing that it actually means strong black coffee; India has come a long way.

9) Aamir Khan -- The Guy's profile has changed so much in the last decade, that most people do not even remember the crap load of movies that he did in the 90s  (does anybody even faintly remember "Tum Mere Ho", "Daulat Ki Jung" or "Aatank Hi Aatank" ?). Yes he was a good actor and had been a part of a few blockbusters; but still at the end of day he was just another bollywood star. Things have changed significantly. He now has this aura of uniqueness around him. Since 2000, each of his movies has been path breaking in one way or the other. Starting with Dil Chahta Hai, followed by Lagaan, Rang De Basanti, Taare Zameen Par and Three Idiots. Besides, he is the only bollywood celebrity to have had the courage to lend support to causes like Narmada Bachao Andolan and Anti corruption protests. Recently, he was awarded a huge honour when the PM of India invited him for a dinner party welcoming the US president (no other bollywood personality was part of this; no Amitabh, no Shahrukh). There is so much conviction in what he does and what he speaks; both in reel and real life. A breath of fresh air.

10) Multiplexes and Bollywood--- In 1999, multiplexes were just starting to emerge. Every major city had a couple of multiplexes at that point. Now, it is difficult to imagine going to a place other than multiplex for a movie. And the advent of multiplexes has been a game changer. Could anybody have imagined movies like "Peepli live", "A Wednesday", "Aamir", " Jhankaar Beats" or "Iqbal" a decade back ? No way ! Who would have produced them ? and who would have watched them ? But now Bollywood has learned to balance the low budget off beat movies with multi crore potboilers. Essentially, there is no separate art cinema. The hat-ke movies are now watched by millions instead of being screened just at film festivals. And that is HUGE.

11) Credit cards -- A decade back, only a privileged few had credit cards. And there were only a handful of high end places in the city which accepted credit cards. Then, as consumerism boomed in India; having a credit card became easy. And that led to more and more places accepting credit cards. Now, every other guy has it and every other place accepts it. A decade back, people used to view credit cards as a debt trap; a kind of an evil emanating from the West. Now people understand both the convenience and pitfalls of a credit card; and are comfortable with it.

My Top EIGHT Pet Peeves about India

Now that it is almost 9 months since I returned to India, I thought it would be a good idea to pen down some of the idiosyncracies that I have seen in India. Some of these seemed perfectly normal to me when I left for US. Now they are irritating, annoying to me. I guess u do end up with a different persective after living abroad for such a long time.

Here is a list of my pet peeves; in no particular order:

1) It is not a paper napkin, silly. It is a tissue. Well, atleast that is what all the waiters call it. If you are going to say paper napkin, be prepared to say it 4 times (before eventually accepting defeat and saying tissue). Also if u request for "can I have some tissue?", u will get only ONE. So if u need Three, be explicit and say THREE.

2) "Sleeves" for coffee cups is an alien concept. They just don't exist ! So after u have ordered a piping hot cafe latte (costing Rs50) at the nearest CCD outlet; all u can do to prevent ur hands from burning is to wrap a paper napkin (oops tissue !) around the coffee cup.

 3) Garbage Cans in public places or rather, the lack of it. People hold coke cans, tissues, empty packet of chips etc for a long long time in the hope of finding a garbage can. Eventually they just give up and throw the garbage on the road. I have personally experienced this on a couple of occasions. I seriously think this is something that can easily be addressed by the government. It is cheap, effective and easy to implement. Is anybody listening ?

4) Nose picking in public -- It is like a national pastime. Everybody does it. Everywhere. And nobody is bothered by it. I don't know what else to say for this.

5) If u speak softly, it does not mean that u are trying to be polite. It means that u are weak and lack confidence. So if u are trying to make a point or convey the urgency of ur request; SPEAK LOUDLY. Else you will be ignored.

6) The STARE; the great Indian Stare. It lasts for more than a few seconds; as if Jolie and Aniston are walking together -- naked. One ends up feeling very uncomfortable; and yet people do it shamelessly. Only way to end their stare is by responding with a straight look into their eyes. Eventually they blink.

7) The NOD; the great Indian Nod. People say yes for everything. Even when they don't know what the request is. Infact even when they do not understand ur language. Saying No is just not a part of the Indian psyche.

8) When an elevator opens; folks try getting IN while others are still trying to come OUT. No, we can't wait. The country does not have enough resources for all and everybody has been brought up on the famed Darwinism "Survival of the Fittest".

Have u heard the BSNL ringback tone lately ?

So today morning I wanted to check who is going to be the teacher for my son's nursery class. I called up the school and heard a fresh, refreshing voice. No, it wasn't the receptionist. It was actually BSNL's latest ringback tone. It went something like this: "When u have to say, something to someone far away; BSNL paves the way..........say it the BSNL way". I was surprised; it was actually pleasing to the ears. Far far better than those expressionless jaded "Aap katar mein hain.........prateeksha kijiye" lines.

As I heard that, my mind wandered 20+ years back. And I remembered how excited I was to see a bunch of guys hooking up the telephone connection at our place. I could see that the neighbours were jealous. After all, in the entire apartment block housing 16 apts, we were the only folks who now had a phone. The phone connection had now put us among the "privileged class". Next day, I walked into the school with a sense of pride and announced our phone number to anybody who cared to listen.

Such were the days of "License Raj". A mere landline required a wait of several years; simply because there was a fixed quota that was supposed to be allocated every year. The 1991 economic crisis changed all that (a great example of how a crisis can become an opportunity; though it is unfortunate that India needed a crisis to move to a capitalist economy). Liberalisation happened. India opened its doors; first hesitantly and then confidently. And since then some things have changed for ever. On the communications front there really has been a revolution. Both Landlines and cellphones are available in a day or two and have become so cheap that literally everybody has it. The advent of private players in the telecom industry has forced BSNL to change. People still complain about their customer service; but they have surely come a long long way.

As I hung up the phone, I chuckled and offered a big thanks to Dr. Manmohan Singh (the then FM) and Narasimha Rao (though he was the then PM of India; people conveniently forget him) for making this happen.

Post #1: It HAPPENS only in India !

This incident dates back to Jan 2011 -- about 5 months back.


My three year old son (Shubh) had become sick in the evening. As we went to bed, we checked his temperature. The mercury meter said 100; we thought we can hold on before giving him some Calpol. Three hours later, my wife was shaking me. Startled, I woke up and saw her pointing to the thermometer reading. It said 104. I immediately rang up the Cradle Clinic, the place in Bangalore which we used to frequent for all issues related to kids health. The attending doctor recommended a particular medicine and also advised us to start doing cold water sponging. He strongly believed that doing these two things will bring down the temperature and then in the morning, we can come for a check-up.

As I started my "Activa" (a popular two wheeler in India) in pursuit of a 24 hour Pharmacy shop, it was about 2 in the morning. I had been in Bangalore for barely 4 months and did not have a good handle of the area surrounding my place. But I still believed that I will be able to get my way around. After roaming around unsuccessfully for half an hour, I realized how wrong I was. Twiddling my thumbs, I was standing near a medical college trying to figure out what to do next. Just then I saw a few auto-rickshaws near the gate of the medical college. I went upto one of them and enquired about the pharmacy shop. He said that it is nearby and gave me directions. But with me being unfamiliar to B'lore, I was completely confused. The rickshaw driver realized this. And offered to be my pillion rider and show me the way. For a minute, I hesitated. For one, it was barely 4 months since I had relocated to India after spending 11 yrs in US; a place where something like this was completely unheard of. Secondly, I had come across a few cases of B'lore taxi drivers robbing and even murdering folks who were travelling late in the night. I was a little anxious. But soon I remembered my son's face and accepted his offer.

With the auto driver as my pillion, we reached the medical shop in 5 mins. I asked for the relevant medicine and as I was paying the bill, the auto driver came upto me and suggested a different medicine (something he used all the time for his children). I was really touched by the guy's selfless approach. He seemed so genuine. I wanted to keep his heart. And so,though I obviously had more faith in the doctor than him, I still went ahead and bought this other medicine as well. Rejecting his idea would have seemed mean and rude; and I did not want to do that.

After dropping him back to the medical college (where his auto rickshaw was); I shook his hand, offered a few words of genuine gratitude and drove away.

As I neared home, I wondered what would I have done without him. What would the world do without such folks ? Thank God for them; for it is people like these who make me believe that humanity is alive and kicking !

The incident also highlighted how different the US and Indian societies are. US society prides itself in being fiercely independent. Had I been in US; I would have fired up my laptop, searched for 24hr Walgreens, called and placed an order for the medicine and then driven there to fetch the medicines. In India, this approach just does not work. It is a more "people-based" society (for lack of a better word). Whether u like it or not; everybody is dependent on everybody. And though that dependence leads to all kinds of issues, it also provides (at times) joy and genuine warmth !